Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Ocinara of Shred

The Ocinara of Shred

They all laughed at the lone nerd guitar player when he entered the high school battle of the bands. Little did they suspect he had a “secret weapon.”

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August 17, 2013 · 8:18 am

Idea for Funny or Die to Steal

Do a live action reunion of the Dungeons and Dragon cartoon and get REM’s bassplayer to play the wizard.

prestoimages-2

 

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An Inconsequential Revelation Over a Decade Too Late to Matter

So I was giving Gish another chance tonight. The uptempo songs remain pretty good. The slow ones aren’t bad. The rest of Smashing Pumpkins’ career never hit the same lean peaks.

Anyway. My favorite song on the re-listen was “Tristessa.” It’s got a bunch of snaky little riffs, a tight groove and a guitar solo that blasts out of the speakers like a Led Zeppelin 1 song. There’s really nothing I don’t like about it, actually. Even the vocals are nicely indecipherable.

But the opening riff sounded incredibly familiar. I went spelunking around my brain and realized why: candy flavored Canadian hot topicals Sum 41 stole it for their one song. (skip to the 30 second mark for it to kick in.)

I know I’m down a real “who gives a shit” rabbit hole here so I’ll be cut my losses. I’m just surprised that reputed diva control freak emotional roller coaster rider Billy Corgan never flipped out publicly about it.

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“Dig” Reaction Part One: The Dandy Warhols

...The Dandy Warhols Come Down

I’ve had a DVD copy of the movie “Dig” for at least five years but have held off watching it because I didn’t care about its  two musical subjects, the Dandy Warhols and Brian Jonestown Massacre.

I expected an exercise in self-mythology for two bands that deserved their obscurity. Suprise, surprise: when I finally watched the movie my indifference to the bands made it better.

The bands are insignificant and mediocre. Consequently, when they act like big deals, it’s hilarious. I’ve been obsessing about them both for days. Continue reading

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Get Out of My Head, Bob James

The other night, I was thinking about how much I liked the theme song to “Taxi.” Once you get past the misdirection of the overly sweet opening flute theme, it’s a mellow, lightly moody Fender Rhodes keyboard workout that subtly picks up momentum as it goes along.

I hadn’t heard the song in years, but I remembered how it made me feel (a little sad but content, fond of Andy Kaufman and Christopher Lloyd).  Its title is “Angela” and its composer/performer is Bob James. Light internet research showed James has the unfortunate habit of being described as one of the founders of smooth jazz, one of the most correctly reviled forms of music there is.James’ music doesn’t sound  like the frictionless muzak I know of as smooth jazz. Take “Nautilus,” one of his two other hits. It’s  atmospheric, bordering on sinister.

And then there’s “Take me to Mardis Gras.” I don’t want to give anything away, but the opening 30 seconds or so made me jump out of my chair. Yeah, it’s the same guy who wrote the theme from “Taxi.” He’s been in the background, playing music for decades now.

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Benefits of Smoking

I quit smoking about five years ago. In those five years, I haven’t wanted a cigarette once, which is a fact that surprises me every time I think about it. When I smoked, I dreaded quitting, imagining that it would be a state of always wanting to smoke again. When I stopped, I realized I love not smoking. Every single day as a non smoker is better than being a smoker. Once you get over the first month or so of going without smoking, it’s really great and you won’t miss smoking at all. I have no idea why they haven’t made an anti-smoking commercial that just says that.

So while all that’s true, I wanted to take a moment to point out some hidden upsides to smoking. None of them are compelling enough to make me want to smoke again, but they are real and they have an undeniable significance. Continue reading

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(Not Yet) The Worst of the Beatles

English: Photograph of The Beatles as they arr...

I fell into a deep Beatles rabbit hole in the last couple of months and only recently emerged. I had all these observations and thoughts on the Beatles and wanted to write them up while the effects of the spell were still somewhat recent. The first was a definitive list of the worst Beatles songs. But while that’s an interesting, if not original, idea, I realized the more surprising observations were on what weren’t the worst Beatles songs once I started looking for them.

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Fucking Pacino

A couple months ago, I came to the conclusion that Al Pacino is the worst actor in the world while watching Heat. Today, I saw Dog Day Afternoon for the first time and I changed my mind. Continue reading

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Material Ghoul

 AKA: what happens when I’m alone in the room with a flip video camera and an early 80s digital keyboard. 

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Surprise, Surprise: the Top Selling Song in America is Actually Kind of Great

So I checked the Billboard chart on a whim today, expecting to have some nice cringe in when I played the top selling single in America. I was pleasantly surprised to when I heard the song itself.

Bruno Mars’ “Locked Out of Heaven” is surprisingly great for the following reasons and probably more.

  • The verse sounds a little bit like “I Don’t Want to Lose Your Love Tonight” by The Outfield. But not enough to be a rip off.
  • As the video demonstrates, it would be possible to actually replicate this song with a five or six piece band (one dude would be pressing a button on a sampler).
  • It starts pleasantly but modestly, and escalates in intensity before peaking at the chorus.
  • It goes right to the shores of dubstep but never actually dives in.
  • Dope clean fender strat guitar sound throughout.
  • Nice tempo change in the last chorus.
  • It’s an original lyric idea that’s both odd and sad. The girl makes him feel like he’s been locked out of heaven for too long; I don’t even know exactly what that means but a pretentious part of me wants to invoke Paradise Lost’s Lucifer.

Anyway, the number two song is some garbage by Taylor Swift that was as bad as I hoped the number one song would be, so everybody wins.

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