How to Deal with a Hangover. Part One.

The HangoverThe first step in dealing with a hangover is accepting that there is no cure.

There’s a nagging feeling with a hangover that you can ingest something, like a food, a drink or a pill, and it will all go away. It’s frustrating and counter-intuitive but none of these things will work. Your body may be telling you that’s what it wants, but your body is a dumb child right now and doesn’t really know what’s good for it. Continue reading

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Top Five Elmore Leonard Movie Adaptations

swagI love Elmore Leonard. I’ve scoured dozens of bookstores for $1 copies of his paperbacks and only have one left after lending and giving them away. I couldn’t recommend any one of them to anybody; they’re fast reads and all pretty much on par in terms of quality.

But on the occasion of his death, I thought I’d put together a quick list of motion picture adaptations of his books. A lot of the movies made from his books are pretty terrible; the books are less cinematic then they seem, due to loose plots and long, languid dialogue driven scenes. As an illustration, spend a pleasant afternoon reading the book “The Big Bounce” followed by an unpleasant evening watching the movie “The Big Bounce.”  Continue reading

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How Do You Know What I’m Thinking?

How Do You Know What I'm Thinking?

-Bad news, old sport. It may be high time to change the public house’s name.
-What are you talking about? We’ve been been providing the citizenry of Belleville, NJ with a happy ending to their workday, in the form of high spirits and good cheer, decades.
-Yes, yes, true, of course. But unfortunately the phrase “happy endings” has taken on new, unsavory connotations of late.
-Unsavory connotations? Whatever do you mean?
-It’s positively ribald, I’m afraid.
-My stars and heavens! Well, it takes all kinds, I suppose. is there a way to let people who suspect this seedy meaning that we mean something much more wholesome?
-Great scott, I have it! And we can keep the name.
-Gimlets all around!

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August 19, 2013 · 8:48 pm

The Ocinara of Shred

The Ocinara of Shred

They all laughed at the lone nerd guitar player when he entered the high school battle of the bands. Little did they suspect he had a “secret weapon.”

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August 17, 2013 · 8:18 am

Idea for Funny or Die to Steal

Do a live action reunion of the Dungeons and Dragon cartoon and get REM’s bassplayer to play the wizard.



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An Inconsequential Revelation Over a Decade Too Late to Matter

So I was giving Gish another chance tonight. The uptempo songs remain pretty good. The slow ones aren’t bad. The rest of Smashing Pumpkins’ career never hit the same lean peaks.

Anyway. My favorite song on the re-listen was “Tristessa.” It’s got a bunch of snaky little riffs, a tight groove and a guitar solo that blasts out of the speakers like a Led Zeppelin 1 song. There’s really nothing I don’t like about it, actually. Even the vocals are nicely indecipherable.

But the opening riff sounded incredibly familiar. I went spelunking around my brain and realized why: candy flavored Canadian hot topicals Sum 41 stole it for their one song. (skip to the 30 second mark for it to kick in.)

I know I’m down a real “who gives a shit” rabbit hole here so I’ll be cut my losses. I’m just surprised that reputed diva control freak emotional roller coaster rider Billy Corgan never flipped out publicly about it.

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“Dig” Reaction Part Two: The Brian Jonestown Massacre

English: Anton Newcombe performing live with B...

There’s a scene in the Royal Tennenbaums where Owen Wilson’s character is hurt and bewildered by a reviewer pointedly saying he was not a genius. It’s a mystery to him why someone would specifically have to specifically rule out the possibility of his genius.

Well, sometimes you have to.

Case in point: Anton Newcombe. He’s not a genius but he acts like one. Continue reading

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