Fuck Yeah, Adam Kubota

This is the first entry in my “fuck yeah” series. A couple of my friends have been doing some rad shit lately, and I want to pay them due tribute.

Also, I have a theory that every American under the age of 50 has set up a google alert for their own name and I want to see if that will bring them to this page without my prompting.

Nickelback was the best thing to happen to Detroit in a long time.

The negative reaction to having the mediocre rock act play their halftime show made Detroit seem like a normal city. For the first time in years, Detroit was the spotlight of news articles that weren’t about post rust belt poverty. Detroit residents became people of taste instead of people in danger of resorting to cannibalism.

And even though Nickelback is a toxically boring band on its own, they are evidently comedy gold when free-associated with Detroit. Check this Funny or Die video with the great Paul Scheer where the band gets Magnum P.I.’ed and Robocop-ed.

They hint at Motowning Nickelback, rechristening the Canadian blandleaders “The Four Nickles.” Meanwhile, elsewhere on the internet, a group of musicians called that bluff and raised them, performing Nickelback songs in the style of Motown.

Sadly, “How you Remind Me” never magically morphs to the ear worminess of “Tears of a Clown,” but hey! That’s Adam Kubota on bass!

Kubota, like myself a former Hartford resident, is this rad dude who occasionally dabbles in bringing quirky musical tangents to life. The joy of the following phrase will make zero sense to anyone who’s never lived in central Connecticut, but Kubota once led a band through multiple versions of the Whalers’ anthem “Brass Bonanza” at a dingy and beloved beer bar on the West End.

Anyway. I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw Kubota thumping away in the background of the video. The last time I saw him was about two years ago at Jeff Koyen’s wedding reception, which was held at a private area in an enormous bar in Brooklyn. It was a jaunty drunk coincidence that Kubota was there—he doesn’t know Jeff Koyen at all—and I remember dragging him over to my then girlfriend (now wife) like I had the world’s best magic trick.

Also: we used to call bumming cigarettes “Kubota-ing.”

Plus: I once threw a napkin at him after debating the reasons why Hendrix is a genius. You probably had to be there, but I was smiling the whole time I typed that so fuck you and your “had to be theres.”

So anyway, if my theory is correct, you, Adam Kubota, are reading this right now. Get in touch, man! Lets hang out. I quit smoking and married Maura, two topics that are sure to spark hours of good conversation. Or just tell me about Burning Man. Whatever!

Published by Mister Bulger

Adam Bulger is the editor in chief of BTRtoday.com and a frequent contributor to the parenting website Fatherly.com. He's also recently written for the wedding site ThePlunge.com and the college student aide Coursehero.com. Less recently, he's written for The Believer, Forbes, The Atlantic's website, Suicidegirls, Inked Magazine and probably about a dozen other places that are too obscure or defunct to bother listing.

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