Six Dudes who Would be Amazing as Dr. Who (And Three that Would be Awful)

Last month, the president of worldwide entertainment corp. announced that they were making a movie of Dr. Who.

This is of particular interest to me.

Before I discovered girls and weed, I was obsessed with PBS reruns of the long running low budget British science fiction show. And lately I’ve started to watch the reboot on Netflix and BBC America. It’s more high budget and I think it’s sort of weird that the Doctor likes girls in this one (especially one that turned out to be an expensive prostitute!) and it’s creepy that they lean on him being a messianic figure, but on the whole, it’s really good, too! Not good enough to give up girls, but luckily my wife likes it, so I don’t have to.

The movie’s going to have nothing to do with the show, which is a bummer, as part of the pleasure of watching the show as a returning fan is its continuity with the 30-plus year “classic” run. But there’s an opportunity with casting, as Matt Smith isn’t going to be the Doctor. He’s been fine, but I’ve been idly dream casting the Gallifrayan and have some great ideas that will never be brought to fruition because they’re gonna get an American “bankable” movie star to do it.

Noel Fielding

Vince Noir as Doctor Who. Think about it. It’s so good. He’s already a pansexual rock ‘n’ roll prankster on the Mighty Boosh. He wouldn’t have to change much to be Doctor Who, only crank up the pathos just slightly to pull off the drama (think Tom Baker). Then at the end of the movie, after his last wild trick with his sonic screw driver doesn’t work and he has to sacrifice himself to save humanity he could regenerate into…

Julian Barratt

The other half of Mighty Boosh would also make for a formidable Doctor. Obviously, he’d be more arrogant and anxiety-ridden and his science fiction gadgets would always be breaking and his plans would never work out and he and his companions would have to improvise their way out of sticky situations. It would be a nice change of pace from uber-confident Matt Smith, actually. Or, keeping it in the Might Boosh family…

Matt Berry

The IT Crowd boss and friend/rival of Dr. Rick Dagless specializes in swaggering confidence and upper crust over-enunciation. His version of the Doctor could be a parody of the James Bond-esque Doctor Who played by John Pertwee, or maybe an Edwardian fop in the mold of Peter Davison. The last two Doctors have been handsome, young men of action. Why not change it up with a dashing dandy who’s also a tinge seedy and maybe not as ready for a fight as he pretends?

Steve Coogan

He’s actually the obvious choice. He’s prickly, smug and mean, but still funny and charming. As anyone who’s seen Alan Patridge knows, he’s extremely comfortable with acting distant and stand-offish.


David Thewlis

Not so much the David Thewlis of today, but the David Thewlis of “Naked.” He could be this know it all alien with a tragic past that can’t stop talking or reminding people around him of how smart he is and then the Daleks come out and yell “exterminate” and then he tells them to shut up so he can make one last point and just before the evil pepper shakers set off their doomsday device he opens up a time vortex and everything goes boom and he never shuts up.

Benedict Cumberbatch

He’s the dude playing Sherlock Holmes in the modern age. The show’s run by the dude who started the new version of Dr. Who, so it’s not too surprising that the exquisitely British-named Cumberbatch plays the famed detective as a terrestrial Dr. Who. And he kind of looks like Tom Baker, only with weirder eyes.




Published by Mister Bulger

Adam Bulger is the editor in chief of and a frequent contributor to the parenting website He's also recently written for the wedding site and the college student aide Less recently, he's written for The Believer, Forbes, The Atlantic's website, Suicidegirls, Inked Magazine and probably about a dozen other places that are too obscure or defunct to bother listing.

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