How Do You Know What I’m Thinking?

How Do You Know What I'm Thinking?

-Bad news, old sport. It may be high time to change the public house’s name.
-What are you talking about? We’ve been been providing the citizenry of Belleville, NJ with a happy ending to their workday, in the form of high spirits and good cheer, decades.
-Yes, yes, true, of course. But unfortunately the phrase “happy endings” has taken on new, unsavory connotations of late.
-Unsavory connotations? Whatever do you mean?
-It’s positively ribald, I’m afraid.
-My stars and heavens! Well, it takes all kinds, I suppose. is there a way to let people who suspect this seedy meaning that we mean something much more wholesome?
-Great scott, I have it! And we can keep the name.
-Gimlets all around!

Published by Mister Bulger

Adam Bulger is the editor in chief of and a frequent contributor to the parenting website He's also recently written for the wedding site and the college student aide Less recently, he's written for The Believer, Forbes, The Atlantic's website, Suicidegirls, Inked Magazine and probably about a dozen other places that are too obscure or defunct to bother listing.

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