So, You Have a Baby.

A friend of mine went and got his wife pregnant. For him, it’s a life changing experience. For me, it’s an excuse to show off my expertise in caring for babies. Being a parent is like playing a video game. You start on the easiest level without any skills. As you get better, the game gets harder. ThisContinue reading “So, You Have a Baby.”

U2’s “Songs of Innocence,” Reviewed by the Only U2 Writer Who Matters: Me

This is the first album review I’ve written in years. I thought it would be appropriate for me to write considering my earlier 100 percent accurate ranking of U2’s albums and that I am the only pop culture observer to have the bravery to say The Joshua Tree is a piece of shit. So myContinue reading “U2’s “Songs of Innocence,” Reviewed by the Only U2 Writer Who Matters: Me”

No, Led Zeppelin Didn’t Really Steal “Stairway.” But They Stole Everything Else

                Believe me, I’d love for  Led Zeppelin to be guilty of plagiarism. But with “Stairway to Heaven,” I have to reluctantly admit they’re innocent. Earlier this month, California jazz rock group Spirit accused Led Zep of stealing the guitar intro of “Stairway to Heaven” from the song “Taurus.” For ZepContinue reading “No, Led Zeppelin Didn’t Really Steal “Stairway.” But They Stole Everything Else”

UPDATED: The Definitive Ranking of U2 Albums

13. Rattle and Hum Bono is at his most preachy and ego-splosive. The band is at their least inspired. With two shopworn classic rock covers, “All Along the Watchtower” and “Helter Skelter,” RAH completes the evolution U2 started on Joshua Tree from post punk pioneers to baby boomer suck-ups. U2 tries out Bo Diddley beats, blues, soulContinue reading “UPDATED: The Definitive Ranking of U2 Albums”

The Joshua Tree Problem

My biggest problem with U2 is with their biggest album. I hate The Joshua Tree and honestly can not believe it’s a hit. Usually there’s an immediately evident appeal for a mega-selling records. Thriller and Dark Side of the Moon are undisputed heavyweight masterpieces that happen to be the number one and two selling records of all time.Continue reading “The Joshua Tree Problem”

The Case Against U2

Fucking Bono If you subtract his humanitarian/political issues, Bono is basically  an ego monster rock star cartoon. He’s so pleased with himself he’s almost on Tom Cruise-level fame-related sociopathy. Even when he’s trying to be modest it’s cranked to 11, like when he tried to cover for the failure of “Pop” by saying the bandContinue reading “The Case Against U2”

How to Deal with a Hangover. Part One.

The first step in dealing with a hangover is accepting that there is no cure. There’s a nagging feeling with a hangover that you can ingest something, like a food, a drink or a pill, and it will all go away. It’s frustrating and counter-intuitive but none of these things will work. Your body may beContinue reading “How to Deal with a Hangover. Part One.”